Two of my first cousins are homosexual men. They were my closest cousins when I was growing up, sons of my favorite aunt and uncle—the family who lived on a farm, had cows, and chickens, tractors, barns, and a storm cellar full of canned fruits and vegetables. My aunt could fix a fried chicken dinner with corn-on-the-cob and biscuits faster than I can open a can of soup, and she always served dessert usually topped with a scoop of homemade vanilla ice cream. As a poor kid from the suburbs of Dallas, I found their lifestyle totally fascinating and fun. My parents and I made the hour long drive to their house often on Sundays, and I usually spent at least one week with them during the summer.
I rode beside my uncle on the tractor, sat atop the
ice-cream freezer as the boys turned the crank, and got to be first to taste
the yummy mixture inside. We went to church on Sundays, and on weekdays we rode
bikes all over town—which consisted of one store, a few houses filled with nice
people and relatives, a graveyard with a wooden arbor, and one white-painted
church with a steeple and a bell. One of our favorite things to do was push
open the always-unlocked-doors of that Baptist house of worship, go inside, and
“play church.”
My oldest cousin, who could play the piano, took over the
music, much as he did on Sundays when he astounded the members with his Stamps
Brother’s style and clear voice. The younger of the two got busy rearranging
wilted flowers, straightening hymnals, and picking up loose papers. And I,
quiet-natured-and-unassuming-as-always, (ahem) marched right up to the altar, stationed
myself behind the pulpit, and preached!
Eventually, as time and chance happens to us all, we became
adults. Our personality styles remained much the same, and we three cousins had
to deal with God and the reality of our sin. Sins of pride, ambition, perfectionism,
lying, unbelief, self-centeredness, all sorts of temptations, including the
uncomfortable reality that two of the three called themselves “gay”—which, by
the way, is an obvious misnomer! My cousins were far from gay, but were instead
deeply troubled, maligned, kicked out of church, ostracized by extended family
members and friends, and suffered various illnesses. The elder brother settled
into a committed relationship with a co-worker; the younger moved in with a
philanderer who not only introduced him to high-spirited Dallas night life, but
also to the HIV virus that eventually developed into life-threatening AIDS.
As a growing Christian, I discovered that homosexuality is
listed in the Bible in several places along with other sins. It is explained,
defined, and condemned. But it is not singled out as the worse of sins, nor is
it identified as a hopeless condition! I also knew that all sin and its
resulting problems find their solution in Jesus.
Today there is a lot of history behind the three cousins. We
have discussed our lives thoroughly, examined Scripture, and exchanged recorded
sermons by preachers on both sides of the issue. Once I attended their church to
hear a guest singer, but they would not attend mine nor pay attention to my
biblical arguments. I have prayed, shown love, visited their apartments, exchanged
letters, and eventually found peace in accepting the widening distance between
us. Not one of us has changed our beliefs.
Unfortunately, being gay is not just a personal moral choice.
Instead it strikes at the foundation of our faith, ignores two-thousand-years-old
established truth, and challenges the basic freedoms of us all. Today, as I am
writing, the Supreme Court of the United States is considering whether or not
to change the meaning of marriage—the first and the basic institution that the
Triune God instituted for the good of mankind.
What a frightening thought! Seems to me it is time for all
of us to consider the troubled and broken relationships within families and among
friends—even the most complicated ones. We may feel uncertain about what to do and
think we are not well-equipped, but we can love without condition, react with
kindness, show respect, speak words of truth, and pray.
